Double Penetration: Rectal Reckoner Edition

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(This post is “Vish Viewpoint” enabled, all of Vish’s comments/adjustments are in red, they will generally be mildly offensive and garish for your mind.)

Last Sunday I had a couple of games against some kind of anal commando. He goes by the name of Vishal. Vish fucking loves making army lists. I like trying to make (assumed) crappy things good. The result was that we gave birth to a 50pt Rhyas list that looked like this:

Rhyas, Sigil of Everblight

Scythean

Seraph

Typhon

Blighted Nyss Swordsmen (Leader and 9 Grunts)

Blighted Nyss Swordsmen Abbot & Champion

Blighted Ogrun Warmongers (Leader and 4 Grunts)

Swamp Gobber Bellows Crew (Leader and 1 Grunt)

Blighted Nyss Shepherd

Warmonger War Chief

Warmonger War Chief

The plan is to get those Warmongers and the Chief in there on the feat turn to make a real mess of your opponent. The Scythean with reach and chain attack bloodbath the Swordsmen with cleave and overtake will also make an unholy mess on the feat turn, teleporting into the middle of enemy lines and going nuts.

The Seraph and Typhon make good Rapport targets, bumping their rat up to 6 is appreciated and you can’t go wrong with a bit of slipstream action.

That’s the red corner sorted, who is in the blue corner psyching himself up and spitting in a bucket? Why its everybody’s favourite monk surfing priest: eSeverius! I recently acquired eSeverius after losing a game against Vish’s eVlad ETC list, afterwards Vish sat me on his knee and generously presented me with the old man. He gave it to me because apparently eSev was created to be eVlad’s silver bullet back in MKI when eVlad owned the tournament scene. I was eager to give him a shot and came up with this list:

Hierarch Severius

Revenger

Reckoner

Reckoner

Templar

Vanquisher

Hierophant

Choir of Menoth (Leader and 3 Grunts)

Temple Flameguard (Leader and 9 Grunts)

Temple Flameguard Officer & Standard

The Covenant of Menoth

The Wrack (3 wracks)

Vassal of Menoth

Vassal of Menoth

There is a story behind the concept of this list. Back in the field test the Testament of Menoth had a spell called Ashen Veil that dropped enemy model’s mat by 2 while within 2” of a model/unit. The Reckoner had a rule called Choking veil which had the same effect under a different name. By layering these de-buffs over Temple Flameguard you could get them to an effect def 17 (19 against the charge because of set defence). It was a cool combo that got coined The Smokey Joe (teh smokeh joe) because of all the ash and smoke billowing around the TFG. It doesn’t work anymore because Ashen Veil is now the name of the spell and the Reckoner’s ability but when I looked at eSev I realised I could recreate the same effect with Holy Ward (+2def) and eSev loves to take Reckoners already because of the dirty Awareness assassination runs! Oh! By the way, this list is accidently a tier 2 list. I had 7 points left to fill and didn’t have anything I felt I particularly needed when Vish decided I needed more heavy hitters. I was eyeing up Knights Exemplar when I realised that Forward Kommander was telling me that the Templar was worth 7 points! I clicked it quick before the program realised it had made a mistake!

The plan was that we would play two games and both of us would have a chance to check out both armies.

I was playing Sev first while Vish dabbled with the ninja chick. Game on!

"What do you think of my kicks?"

..in the shadow of her sister.. probably where she belongs

Whenever a person enters “tossing off” into Urban Dictionary it comes back with this definition:

to masterbate (spelled wrong for some reason too)

Urban Dictionary also provides these two helpful sentences to help us understand how to use the phrase in the proper context:

“He is probably at home tossing off to some porn.”

“Tossing off is man’s past time!”

I would like to add this definition to Urban Dictionary:

“When players throw dice at the beginning of a game of Warmachine/Hordes in order to determine who will go first.”

Needless to say, Vish and I tossed off. Vish won and decided to let me deploy and go first, I bricked up in the middle with the Reckoners getting the Smokey Joe 2 fired up and getting ready to shoot through the TFG.

Vish deployed his whole army on the very far right flank making sure the important models wheren’t trying to take the out the brick head on.

(I forgot to take this picture before Rhyas activated)

Round 1!

Everybody ran everywhere! The Menoth army didn’t mess around and ran up the middle while Rhyas took her beast strike force down the flank.

Sev put Holy Ward on the TFG to put them at silly defence while Ryhas cast dash and slipstream to get her army moving and put Occultation on herself for stealth. Let it be assumed from now on that Rhyas has occultation up on herself, the nature of the eSev list meant that it would be suicidal to take it down as otherwise those Reckoners could just mosey up and nail her a few times.

Round 2

Protectorate: If I was a soldier I would be worried if Vish was my commanding officer. He is a great player but every model in his army is dispensable. He had moved the Warmongers pretty far forward and they where in the perfect position for me to try out some of Sev’s funky spells. It turns out that Influence makes Warmongers sad. For 1 point of focus Sev can make your models start attacking each other and the combination of Sev’s high focus and the Warmongers reach, mat, defence and power make them the perfect target for it. By the time Sev had finished causing mischief the Warmongers where in tatters, Reckoner rounds left the Warmonger leader as the only survivor… and he had Fear of God up on him. The TFG took up defensive positions and used Iron Zeal and shield wall. Because of Vish’s extreme flanking the Templar had little to do and I was done. I planned it so that I’d intersect the fast part of your army and fall round to keep the Templar out of the game.

What you are seeing here is a hole where a unit of Warmongers should be.

Legion: The Legion responded by running the Swordsmen screaming at the TFG in an attempt to keep everything tied up while the Rhyas strike force got busy. The Seraph moved up and hailed blighted fire down on Sev’s Revenger, the Revenger lifted its shield in defence but the shield quickly dissolved into nothing under the barrage. This allowed the Scythean to come hurtling in from way down-town and reduce the ‘jack to scrap. Tyhon (with excessive healing) and the Warchiefs ran into position looking to get ready for next turn.

Round 3

Protectorate: My ‘jacks where pinned in by my own TFG who where themselves pinned in by suicidal Swordsmen. All the while Tyhpon and the Scythean where eyeing my army hungrily. If you take time to check out the forum chatter you may have got the impression that eSev’s feat is a bit of a non-event, but in this situation it was gold. I fucking love that feat. People Jacking! I took control of the Swordsmen who where all up in my grill and turned them around to start attacking their mates and free up my front lines. It’s a little bit irrelevant how much killing the people you jack do, an eSev list can’t be tied up by sacrificial screens! This let the TFG charge forward and slay the Swordsmen who had just done my bidding… how brilliantly sinister is that!? Now my Reckoners (who where now enlivened) had space to assault Typhon and the Scythean with their cricket bats, the Scythean went down but Typhon survived with a few hit points thanks to Excessive Healing. In other news: a Warchief was torched by a Vanquisher shell. Here is how things looked after PoM turn 3:

Legion: Things where looking desperate. This turn the feat went off but the only model to really perform was the Warchief who hit the Vanquisher and teleported into the Protectorate support models, killing a couple of choir boys (this list didn’t have enough choir boys at the start of the game, it doesn’t need to lose more!) and a Vassal. Tyhpon managed to kill a couple of TFG while choking on the full force of The Smokey Joe 2 and the Swordsmen showed how leathal they could be on the feat turn with their UA if it wasn’t for all the whiffing they where doing.

Round 4 and onwards!

It was now just a case of sweeping up the chaff and chasing down Ryhas. Here are some points of interest:

* Sev killed the Warcheif! Creators Wrath gives him an additional dice on hit and damage rolls and gives him the potential to be v.v. mean.

* Sev also killed the last couple of cheeky Swordsmen with his mini ashes to ashes gun.

* Typhon is shit. No reach? What?!

* I should have read Dash clearly as it’s an aura not a pulse, awkward to use if you’ve never run Rhyas.

* One of the Reckoners ran into the forest Rhyas had been skulking around in all game and ended the Seraph and suffered some critical decap action for its trouble, Rhyas single handedly took that thing apart!

The game was over, jack’s where running in Rhyas’ direction looking to be the first one to smash the abomination to pieces. That was until Rhyas proved that a cornered fox is more dangerous and did this:

All the ‘jacks where looking the wrong way like a bunch of bell-ends and it looked like it was going to be Sev vs Rhyas, 1 on 1 for the game. Fortunately the Reckoner could help out but had to hit Rhyas’ def 20 from range because she was behind a wall. The last choir boy buffed the Reckoner and it needed a 13 to hit. No worries! Rhyas took a pow 15 like a trooper but was now suffering -2 def, that should even the odds for Sev. Creator’s Wrath went up so Sev was rolling extra hit and damage dice and needed 10s to hit from his embarrassing mat 4. He surfed over on his monk steeds and commenced to wiff, a lot. I had 3 focus left and was getting worried, I really didn’t fancy losing now. This was when I realised Creators Wrath gives additional dice so I bought an attack boosted the hit for 4 dice and typically rolled about 18 on the 4 dice, the last focus point went on a boosted 4 dice damage roll which laid Rhyas out for the count.

In the end I was really impressed with how epic Severius performed, the Rhyas list seems solid but it was a bad match-up for it and it could do with some tweaking. Rhyas has a hard time taking out lots of high Def troopers which is something I feel a good list needs to be able to do.

A win for myself and the Protectorate! But how will things look when the armies are switched? The second half of the eSev vs Rhyas extravaganza is coming soon so stay tuned!

in a bit

petezilla

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12 Responses to “Double Penetration: Rectal Reckoner Edition”

  1. jasefox Says:

    I would like to add that people down here in soft southern Portsmouth do not appreciate the ‘tossing off’ joke, though I still continue to use it.

    I had a game of Malifaux the other day, and was plesantly introduced to the term ‘flipping off’ I flipped off a few times in that game.

    • petezilla Says:

      Good man, I love tossing off, never gets old.

      Whats the verdict on Malifaux? hit, miss of maybe?

      • jasefox Says:

        Hit! In a wierd sorta way, I wouldn’t buy into it too much, but you don’t really have to. It’s fun, but gets a little crazy when your two ‘masters’ go head to head.

      • Ajay Says:

        I always wanted to try Malifaux, pity no-one around our parts has any (that we know of…).
        But yeah, wouldn’t buy into it, and the models seem a little hit or miss.

      • petezilla Says:

        Andy actually has some 😉

      • Andy Says:

        Yeah I bought the steamworkers union starter .. I’ve not managed to assemble it yet .. but I have it ;).

  2. Ajay Says:

    I demand moar Vishisms (thats now copyrighted). Swearing should be commonplace in a mans game!

  3. criticalsam Says:

    awesome writeup man. looking forward to hearing what happened wheny ou swapped it round!

  4. Vish Says:

    @Pete – This is a fucking awesome write up. Cheers man. 😀 When’s the next installment going up?

    @Ajay – Cheers man, it’s wierd when shit get’s deep people don’t just chill out and express themselves. Like when Great Bears under Battlelust charging something I think “Motherfucker’s are gonna get jacked!”.

  5. jasefox Says:

    Btw guys, interesting point raised on the pp forums about this game, when eSev whiffed, Rhyas has riposte, so would she have killed him hitting back?

  6. Vish Says:

    Pete was bunting it up to the max and kept eSevvy out of melee range so she couldn’t reach him. 😀

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